Monday, February 02, 2009

Rachel Getting Married

It is not troubling that movies are getting so awful. What is truly a sign of cultural decay is how awful film crtics are getting. Rachel Getting Married has gotten rave reviews and folks have been betting on Anne Hathaway being the front runner for best actress Oscar. Wow! This movie has got to be one of the most boring, awful movies I've ever seen. Almost 2 hours of wedding video is all there is interspersed with a weak, black sheep of the family plot thrown in just to lure the critics and the idiots like me who actually read and believe them.

We were just sitting through the bad wedding home video, I mean the movie, just painfully waiting for something to happen. A full 5 minute shot of people loading dishwashers. A wedding toast that lasted for over 10 minutes. A wedding dance that seemed to last forever and the actual wedding where the guy (and where the heck did they get those specs from? Do they even make them like these anymore?) murders (ok, not quite) Neil Young's 'Unknown Legend', one of my alltime favorite songs, the full song as his wedding vow! wow!

I want my 3 hours spent getting to and watching the movie back. Mr. Demme, I did not realize that your title was literal -- Rachel Getting Married -- and that's all there was to it. I know you used smalls plays from the Oscar book to lure the critics -- the casually interracial couple, the black-sheep who has a dark past, a disengaged mother, white folks dressing in Indian Saris (for no clear reason) and oh, the God awful live music that does not seem to stop ever -- even after the films finally does end. Sorry, but I cannot stand for this kind of manipulative video-making. You suck, Mr. Demme. 

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Monday, April 07, 2008

Long Road Out Of Eden - Eagles

I often wonder why famous people that have nothing to prove anymore keep coming back and soiling their own reputation. What is it that makes them do it? Is it as simple as greed for more money or more fame or is it pursuit of the true desire to say something left unsaid or to paint that final brush stroke that completes the masterpiece. Or is it just some kind of biological compulsion for destruction that seems to permeate us all at some level and specially so those that hold a kind of social stature.

Eagles have come up with a new studio album after 28 years called 'Long Road Out Of Eden.' It is certainly a long road and maybe out of Eden but not sure where it is headed. Just listening to this album is like being on New Jersey Turnpike, a dour, flavorless patch of American highway that seems desperate to get somewhere, too desperate and does seem to go somewhere, an odd exit to an odd suburbia but takes the rider nowhere, at least nowhere they'd rather be.

Why, after already letting Hotel California be your cash cow time and again. Why? No hell has frozen over so what prompted this turkey?

Don Henley sings of the war and declares that the 'Road to empire is a bloody, stupid waste' but the shame is that Henley wants nothing less.

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Shine Over Babylon - Sheryl Crow

I listen to way too much music to ever get obsessed about a horribly bad song (and there are too many of them) but once in a while there comes along a real turkey. A song so insidious, so terrible that I am amazed at the mind that might have come up with it. I obsess on these for the same reason that I cannot take make eyes of a truly awful TV show (Office?)

I have never had strong feelings about Sheryl Crow. I found her a mediocre artists that tries to make up by being a part-time socialite and trophy wife. Never had strong feelings until I heard a song called 'Shine Over Babylon' from her latest album called 'Detours.' Initially, I found the song just mildly irritating because it seemed to have a really bad tune. However, as I started getting some of the lyrics is when I started to get appalled. What the hell was this woman saying? What the hell did she mean? Here is a sample:

If there's a god where is he now
The precipice is slipping further out

Sanskrit message from the mounts
Leave your possessions, hope abounds
There's nothing here for you to cry about
We're all just followers from here on out

I wonder if the world would be a better place if at least some cliche were retired forever. Take the first sentence for example. "If there is a God where is he now?" I mean how could you get worse than that? Who writes this kind of drivel? Good she is taking the credit for writing this hackneyed garbage. "Singer-songwriter', my ass.

Also, anyone using precipice from now on to communicate some kind of newly discovered tipping point should also be put out of their misery.

But what took the proverbial cake for me was the damn Sanskrit message from the mounts and the next couple of sentences that seem to be some sort of a hyper-condensed Bhagvad-Gita for the twitter generation.

There are slant references to oil-driller (Bush) and the war and some hifalutin bullshit all amidst a noisy, cantankerous tune.

Who is keeping score of the bad art being bred by the war?

And just to drive the point further, here is another gem. You are welcome to revel in the genius of Ms. Crow's songwriting talent.


I found my way to Alexandria
Where gurus bubble up on Ganges
Scavengers, they run up and hand ya
All the junk that should have damned ya

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Friday, February 01, 2008

Snow - Orhan Pamuk

I have always been curious about Turkey. Several articles in the New Yorker about the role played by the military that is surprisingly secular and has been since the 1st world war have ignited my curiosity. The military has, on more than one occasion established a secular rule by overthrowing elected governments that seem to relent to the Islamists. The idea of a military doing the "right" thing, as would seem to an outsider, has always been quite fascinating to me. Turkey, in this strangely, sometimes of often forced, secular way has always stuck out in the otherwise oppressing world of mullahs and shieks. Unlike other Islamic countries, Turkey has insisted on modernism, based on the guidelines laid down by the father of modern Turkey, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk. It has applied modernism by any means at the state's disposal. The women in Turkey are forbidden by law to wear head-scarves or burqas in public places and universities. (Incidentally, however, the trend seems to have given way, disappointingly for some, to an openly religious society following the general rightist shift in world socio-politics.)

Orhan Pamuk's (who recently won the Nobel prize for literature) "Snow" is the tale of Ka (the protagonist) who has spent several years in Frankfurt, in the season of Kar (aka Snow) goes to the city of Kars (in north-eastern Turkey bordering Russia) to report on the several suicides committed by the "head-scarf girls" and to meet his old lover Ipek in the hope of reviving the old romantic flame.

Snow is not an easy book to read or like. Contrary to its name, it is heavy, not because it is overly philosophical but because it is too less so. It is fluffy and yet leaden: which might also describe some of what Ka sees in Kars. A society torn between fanatical secularism proposed by the State and Islamic radicalism proposed by cultural roots. This is essentially what Mr. Pamuk has been trying to explore all his life. He is the classic immigrant who can see the provincialism of his original homeland and sneer at it but cannot help but reject the modernism of his new home either. It is the classic dilemma that defines immigration in general and brings about the middle-path that ends up changing societies: more to which people migrate than from where they migrate.

Unfortunately for us, Snow is pretentious and repetitive. It's overuse of 'Snow' as a metaphor for pretty much everything (love, distance, beauty, cover-up, joy, sadness, commonness, difference, you name it) is cloying and makes it impossible to plow ahead. It's overuse of the word 'Snow' not just as a metaphor but for itself every other sentence is also jarring. It starts to hurt.

Snow's style is literary with heavy influence from others before who explored the east or mid-east from Western eyes. Dostoevsky and Conrad come to mind immediately (but they do almost all the time) and one could see hints of Prince Mishkin and even glimpses of Raskonikov in Ka. However, as an outside but not necessarily a wild thought, Ka (following the the inclusive pattern of naming his prime characters: Kars - city, Kar -snow, Ka - the hero) might actually be at heart closer to Kafka's K than anyone else. His utter dislocation, albeit fueled by differing cultural views rather than just a general sense of being lost amidst the oppressing social structure, is basically an emotion personified by Joseph K (The Trial, The Castle). While K does not understand the world around him and generally doesn't make an attempt, Ka seems to make too much effort and then seems to give up to easily. He is essentially a coward once-to-often guised as a skeptic.

Snow is full of characters, alas only some of them interesting. Ka's love Ipek is a rather boring character though the final propulsion to the novel and its fulcrum is essentially provided by her indiscretion. In contrast, Kadife, Ipek's younger sister is feisty and far more elegant. However, the real force of the novel is two contrasting philosophies presented by the all-powerful stage actor Sunay Zaim (a shadow of Atatürk's) and the equally charming but enigmatic Blue, a fundamentalist who really is the only force that keeps the pages together. Pamuk never allows them to be face to face and he uses Ka as a sort of interpreter between the two presenting and digesting their ideas without being really touched by any. While Blue is the motor of the book, it is the young Islamist Najib who provides its soul and Pamuk clearly wanting to make a statement kills him early on (this is not a spoiler -- Pamuk tells you this upfront sort of laying down the foundation of his covert pessimism.)

I struggled through the almost 500 page book. I really did. There were many times, specially about half-way through, I saw no reason to move on because I thought I knew what was going to happen. However, Pamuk has some tricks up his sleeves, he pulls the right kind of gargoyle out at the right time and kept me going.

I wasn't utterly disappointed at the end. Books to me are a mirror into another life that I could never have or know about. The fantasy of Snow is the type where the fact that it is is often more important than the fact that it isn't fantastic.

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Saturday, August 11, 2001

Rush Hour 2

This movie is about two cops investigating the bombing of US embassy in Hong Kong. Their attempts bring them to LA and then to Las Vegas where the finally find the forces of evil printing fake currency.

Rush Hour 2 deals with you in fake currency too. It is one of the weakest sequels to a weak movie you will ever find. Low on funny, low on effects, this movie wants to make you laugh just because it has Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in it. It wants to make you laugh because the first one was funny. In the name of funny, all it has is some stale, repetitive racial jokes.

The only actor who does not sleep walk through this one is Ziyi Zhang, the young brat from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. She fights with a lot of energy and is fun to watch. However, I think she will have to do something different if she wants to continue to be likable.

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Friday, July 20, 2001

Bombay Boys

I have had my share of bad movies concocted by ludicrous direction and pathetic acting. This one is definitely one of the prominent representatives of that variety.

Inspired by dark grotesque American Indie movie storyline, this picture is not only hard to watch, it is terribly taxing on the ears as well. Don't get fooled by its outside appearance as an incisive black comedy. It is a complete failure in almost all aspects of film making. Worst acting, no editing, contrived direction and utter lack of connection with reality.

I think the intention was to create a culturally conscious movie. A movie that tries to show the dark side of India to unsuspecting Indians coming to India for the first time from foreign countries. With a more sincere effort, better acting and attentian to details and yes -- editing -- this movie could have been a good addition to the immigration experience genre.

Avoid this movie or watch it if you want to take an education into how NOT to make a movie.

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