Akshra is an year old today. Wow! That's all I can say. Wow! Not just because she made it this far. That was never so much in doubt. Not even because we survived an year with a child. That was never too much in doubt either even though we had our moments. The biggest surprise is of course the speed with which this happened. It seemed like a blink of an eye.

It seems that way but we know that it wasn't quite like that. Every day was a full day. Every day was a different and new test. No nothing big happened apart from the occasional sickness and the horrible infection that bloodied her lips and scarred her face and the terrible 104 degree fever that slashed her weight by a couple pounds and dealt a lethal blow to her healthy weight gain. Akshra has been a great girl. Fiesty and fun-loving, almost never crying and never giving any great grief over eating. She has her preferences but she has generally been a great girl.

Over the year I've grown to love her in ways I didn't think it was possible to love anyone. Everything they said about your children doing that to you is true after all. It is an amazing new feeling that has no parallel. I still maintain some of my old notions about love (being this idea, a thought of a person rather than the person itself) but there is clearly that longing to be with her, to hug her to touch her to kiss her and possess her and crowd her with my love and adoration. It is a beautiful feeling even though it ultimately is a sign of submission.
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I want to wish her love today. A lot of love and happiness and health. I want to wish her a long, prosperous life. As I say this I am reminded of how this is probably what all parents think when their kids are young -- God, just let them be and we don't care for much else. However, as the kids grow up we demand success, our own notions of it, from them and crush them under that weight even more so than the outside world does. It is sad because that makes us value them not as persons but almost like an investment Is this a good return on all my years of hardwork on you?, we seem to ask of ourselves.
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Akshra, you are probably not the greatest thing that could've happened to me (you might very well be) for I am still too selfish to admit that but you are certainly the most joyous thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me.

I thank you for that.