We are on day number -2 now. Puja is very anxious and look visibly tired now. Hopefully we will go naturally before the 5th.
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Yesterday I was listening to a story on NPR and how parents are using various technologies to keep tabs on their children. GPS and car speed trackers and cell phones and soon to be introduced reverse cell phones where the cameras could take pictures continuously and send it back to the mother ship at home. I clearly and vehemently disagree with this type of monitoring. It is just wrong at many levels. Apart from self-esteem and independence issues the biggest problem I think is that these type of actions will really not work. What you want is for your child to become responsible on their own so that they don't get into trouble in the first place. But if they are children they will certainly get into trouble once in a while and that is an essential part of growing up.

This type of tracking gives a false sense of security. As if you will actually be able to do anything or these type of devices are actually ever going to really work. They don't work one day and you drive yourself crazy.

Day 0 has come and gone and we are still a baby short. We went to the doctor again yesterday and he said the baby had definitely descended but not quite there yet. The cervix had started effacing but we still had ways to go. Our next option is induction. We obviously want to delay it as far out as possible. So we picked Tuesday night, September 5th as the day. That would bring the baby out by the 6th.

Puja is a little disappointed. The anxiety has now gripped her thoroughly. Its been a long time since she has been what she is now and she wants to hold the baby in her arms. Who can blame her.

Today is zeroth day. We don't really see too much happening today. Puja feels just fine. No signs of contractions or any pain. The anxiety is now beginning to grip us and specially Puja. We want the baby out now. We want to see what it looks like. Hell, we want to know whether it is a boy or a girl. All signs point to a boy but there is a good 50% chance that it is a girl. Well, I guess we just want to know.

We are as ready as we are ever going to be.

Spent over 4 hours just walking in Woodbury Commons yesterday. Puja took it as if she were not due in a day but as if she were not pregnant at all. The baby seems to be just loving it in there. Puja gets tired but is generally doing very well. Now we are scared just because of that. If she is feeling so good then there must be some danger lurking out in the dark.

So in theory only today and tomorrow are left and Puja should go in labor on Monday. The reality seems a little different. We walked a vigorous 2 plus miles trying to push the baby out. We are also planning on going to Woodbury commons outlet mall in upstate New York so that Puja can be on her feet at least 3-4 hours and then we plan to walk again in the evening.

We are going to get this baby out. We may lose our legs but what the hell. We want the baby out.

So only 3 days remain. However, looking at where Puja is we are probably a week or so away realistically.

We've been walking for about two and a half miles every day for over a week now trying desperately to keep Puja healthy as well as to help her push the baby down further. However, not much has happened yet. She has started feeling some sort of pain and descent but it isn't quite there yet. The cervix has yet to soften and efface. The dilation hasn't even really begun.

We went to the doctor's office yesterday and he doesn't think we are very close yet. We will probably go over by at least a week if not more. However, he recommends that we induce after about the 41st week. It is going to be the labor day long weekend and apparently doctors don't recommend inducing during a holiday because of shortage of staff so it will probably be a the following Wednesday which will be August 6th.
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Spent some time yesterday to finalize our hospital bags and also created a bunch of lists: stuff to carry list, to do list, numbers to call list and so on.

Yesterday we bough the $1200 stroller for our upcoming baby. I haven't assembled it yet but it looks like another one of those "BMW" products: very expensive and great in a certain limited way and of course makes you looks rich but isn't really worth even half the money you pay for it and would have some basic stuff missing that would drive you insane.

The countdown has entered single digits now. Only 9 days remain...
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It is harder and harder now to focus at work and the mind goes in all directions. Puja is not really feeling any pressure yet so we are probably going to be about a week later. We may have a real "labor" day long weekend.

W've started working on the hospital bags now. Yesterday we got a lot of balls from model. A giant 65cm birthing ball, stress relieving gel balls and tennis balls for massaging. We are getting ready quietly but surely and only 12 days remain now. We still haven't finalized the name and that is a bit of a problem. We need to do it this week.

We had an absolutely wonderful time in the pool today. Though it was a bit crowded and Puja was scared for her baby (someone might inadvertantly kick), there was still something positive and relaxing about the whole experience and we I think realized that at least this is one activity that will have even more fun when our kid is around.

16 More days left...

We were in Edison yesterday at Khasiyat, our favorite little restaurant out there. We've gone there many many times and we were just wondering how this is probably the last time we're coming as a couple. How would it be the next time we are there? We will be asking for a high-chair and will the child actually let us eat anything? Will it feel comfortable?

Puja was also wondering that the child is probably getting a taste of Pav Bhaji now but we don't really know when is the next time it will have real Pav Bhaji.

I just saw all these baby clothes hanging drying in the bathroom. I guess Puja is washing them and making them ready for the baby. However, the impact on me was quite startling. It seemed as if I had entered someone else's bathroom in someone else's house and was touching the clothes of someone else's baby.

Here is a very funny note Puja sent out yesterday on he "breach incident"...

Hi Guys,

I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts and actions in the last few days….

My brief escapade with my "Breech Baby"

My OB/GYN consistently for the past three visits has not been able to tell me the Baby's position, he would always dilly-dally and then honestly tell me he can't feel it and wasn't sure. Last visit (Wednesday) he almost made is certain that the head is no where in the vicinity of the pelvis and most probably it’s a breech baby! Finally he ordered an ultrasound to confirm this fact or so it seemed at the time.

During that same visit I promptly asked him about External Cephalic Version (ECV, turning the baby manually externally), about Breech deliveries and the chances. He made it clear with a straight face that in US breech deliveries were not done and C-section is the normal course of action and as far as ECV is concerned, its risky, the umbilical cord could tear, the placenta could dislodge and an emergency C-section would most likely will have to be performed. He also mentioned that in his entire carrier of 18 years he has not seen any case in which the baby turns after 36 weeks from breech to vertex.

I also asked him about any exercises or positions I could get into to turn the baby, but he wasn't keen on providing me with any sort of alternative medicine therapies.

Of course, the Doctor's words like "may be" or "most probably" or "its likely" is like the final word to you, if you know what I mean.

So I just took his word for it and started driving myself, and in the process everyone else around me crazy. I was also a little upset with the Baby for trying to be somewhat unique and stubborn since only 3-4% of all babies position themselves (or something positions them) as breech!

Then started my frantic research into how to turn the baby and get it in position. I talked to people like my Yoga instructor about poses, the massage therapist in case she came across some clients, the Child birth educator at Saint Mary hospital, I was looking through all the Pregnancy books I could lay my hands on and of course was Googling my way to disappointment.

Based on all I could find, I started with doing Yoga poses like the modified Child's pose that almost fractured my knee caps, extended down dog poses that almost dislocated my shoulders, I did the pelvic tilts that left me breathless, head inversions in the deep end of the swimming pool that I might add where fun to do and constant visualization of the Baby in the correct position. I also collected information about Acupuncture as there was reason to believe that its been successful before, I was only holding off on making the appointment till after the ultrasound.

Later I was told about this website spinningbabies.com where they teach you how to locate the babies position and spin it somehow.

I was this close to drawing the position map on my belly based on the baby movements….

Finally has my ultrasound this Monday after 5 roller-coaster days and my sweet little Baby is in perfect head down position!

Phew! I feel relieved and at the same time I feel like a total idiot!!!

I also feel a little guilty for doubting my child and not trusting it to do what it needs to do…..

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20 Days to go...

Puja had another sonogram yesterday to confirm the position of the baby and it lo and behold the baby is all the way head-down in the pelvis in the correct position! Puja was elated but now has to deal with the pain of the natural delivery. Also, the baby is an ounce short of 7 pounds which is a little too heavy for 37 weeks. Yes, Puja has completed 37 weeks which means she has carried the baby full term. If she carries it for another 3 weeks the baby will be almost 8 and a half pounds given that the baby grows about a half pound a week at this stage. Now that sounds scary. That is a very big baby for Indian women and will cause some trouble for Puja on the D day.

Of course this lends to all that Puja and partly I have been suffering for the last few days. We've been doing some wacky Yoga poses. Puja did head-inversions in the swimming pool on Saturday as advised by some website. Puja told her yoga teacher, her lamaze teacher and pretty much everyone who she thought could offer solace or advice.

We seemed pretty silly after finding this out and now of course a whole set of new worries about the size of the baby and the delivery itself.

Only 22 days left now and if you account for the fact that we may actually have a c-section because of the breach presentation of the baby then there may only be 16 days left. A lot of things still not done. Most importantly the name of the baby.

However, I assembled the bassinet the other night and took a half day on Friday to get done with the car seat and some other essential stuff. We seem to be ready now to welcome a baby in the house.

Puja is still broken-hearted about the fears of a c-section and everything that is going to follow it. Pretty sad but I just have to focus on the hope that it could have been worse.

Puja had her usual exam yesterday at the doctor's. After waiting for about an hour and a half we finally get to see the doctor. The baby's heartbeat seemed fine at about 140 per second. However, the doctor did a strap test and some measurements and told us that he did not think the baby was in its correct position of heat down and butt up. It seemed that the baby's head was up. This would mean a c-section. This type of a position is called a breach and in America doctors do not recommend a natural birth in this position. He prescribed a sonogram for which we got an appointment on Monday. Sonogram is the only true way to confirm this.

This is devastating news to us. We've been reading for months the advantages of a natural birth over a c-section. Puja has been attending Yoga classes where they beat this into the head again and again. There is a whole movement to promote natural births. Yes still only 10% of the births in Jersey are natural. There are so many who probably could give a natural birth but either choose a c-section or are either connived or coaxed into a c-section by their doctors. Doctors make 10,000 dollars for a c-section and only about a 1000 dollars for a natural birth. Natural birth is also more unpredictable and can last longer so doctors have absolutely no interest in natural births. The other important aspect is of course the law suites. Chances of law suites during a c-section are low as the procedure has been honed to a T.

So, we had a tough time getting back from the hospital. We really didn't want this. Of course we have very little control over what we want in this case anyway. This is just another random event that went against us rather than for us. As I always say -- "someone else makes you lucky" -- this time our baby chose not to.

There are several problems that we feel we will have to face with a c-section that we think would have been avoided by a natural birth. Mother's recovery -- both physical and mental. It is well known that during a natural birth, the hormones released by the baby help the mother bond better with the child, product breast milk better and help in recovery. Natural and breast-fed kids tend to have higher immunity to diseases and so on.

In any case, we've gotten this baby after some effort after all these years. If I really think about it, it doesn't quite matter. We could obviously have been much much worse. At least the baby is healthy so far.

25 Days to go...